I met this really fit guy..in a gym no less. He definitely wasn’t conventionally good looking but he had muscles and was able to pick me up. Something I learnt whilst he had me balancing on his thighs in the cycle room. I’d found his USP* and boy was I sold ; )
He told me he had his own house and I soon found myself outside his front door waiting to be let in. I’d been promised a romantic evening in, where I would be wined and dined..I knew shagging would be on the menu (Mama didn’t raise no fool)
His ‘house’ turned out to be a Victorian semi that had been split into two, he occupied the bottom flat. House..flat..no biggie (at least there was no mum/wife around…if you don’t know what I’m talking about then shame on you because you clearly have not read this CLICK HERE) He gave me a quick tour and when I say quick I mean seconds. This was because the only furniture he had was a bed. No TV, no sofa, no pictures, no nothing. It literally was some sort of sex den. I sat on the bed as it was either that or the floor. He explained he’d just moved in. Err this is something you mention before your guest arrives. Still I brushed it off.
He disappeared to the kitchen and returned a minute later with a half empty packet of biscuits (Please note ‘half empty’ not ‘half full’) He offered me one to which I declined. He then to my surprise closed the bedroom door behind him and sat on the bed next to me. No furniture and no food and I still shagged him. This was my first American guy and he lived up to the rumours- he did everything, no stone was left unturned.
He insisted on cuddles after (I hadn’t heard of this part!?) I didn’t resist though, mainly because it was dark and I didn’t really know where I was. So there I was in the dark wrapped up in his arms when he whispered “What would you say if I said I’d killed someone?”
My eyes popped out so much they almost fell out of my head. He then fell asleep and I was trapped under his anaconda arm, waiting for the morning sun so I could leave. I tried to wriggle free a couple of times but he was built like a brick shit house. He shouted in his sleep which really did not help his case.
Did I make it out alive? Erm..obviously, yes. Needless to say I dodged his calls and never returned to the gym again.
Are all American Boys like this?
Because I’ve been scarred for life and have never shagged an American since!
*USP =Unique Selling Point
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