How not to be caught naked

How not to be caught

A friend of a friend introduced me to this guy (we’ll call him Mr P). When I say ‘introduced’ I mean we spoke on the phone for a few months before I agreed to spend the night at his. When we finally met I realised I’d been speaking to a man with 1) A perm, I mean super silky, straight hair (hence the name Mr P)
 2) Multiple gold teeth  3) Size 2(UK) feet and whose head height would never quite be able to reach 5’5″..even when stood on his tiny tippy toes. Non of this stopped me from going straight back to his flat where he gave me a quick tour; it consisted of a kitchen, bathroom, a separate (and the only) toilet, and two bedrooms. One of which was occupied by his male cousin and pregnant girlfriend.

We stayed in bed banging all the next day, right up until the early evening. He had to leave for a little while to run some errands but I decided to take his offer of staying and waiting for him. Shortly after Mr P had left there was a knock at the door. I got up from the bed and wrapped my body in the cover, ensuring all major bits were safely tucked away and covered before going to answer it. I was sure it was Mr P as he hadn’t long left and a key had to be used to gain entry to the block of flats main door. I couldn’t see anyone through the keyhole so was shocked when I opened it to find not one but two women standing there. They knew Mr P and said they were friends, so I let them in.

They immediately chose Mr P’s bedroom to go and wait in. I didn’t want to highlight my current nakedness but my clothes were strewn around the floor of the armchair where one of the women had chosen to sit. The other was sat on the bed and all I could think was ‘I wouldn’t sit there, if I were you’. I tried to appear casual that I was picking up my clothes whilst looking like the Michelin Man and knowing if the duvet dropped I would be exposing everything.

I chose the toilet to get dressed in as it was the only room that had a lock. Stupidly I did not close the bedroom door behind me and knew I was clearly visible…I could see them looking. I had the impossible task of trying to squeeze through the narrow toilet door frame whilst remaining wrapped in the duvet. I clearly could not fit, however this did not stop me from trying to belly flop my way through. One of the women came out into the corridor and tried to push me through the door frame. She had her back against mine, like one would do when attempting to move large furniture alone. Did she really not understand I was having this problem because of them? To be fair to her she did manage to get me through.

When I returned to the room they were gone. I checked the cousins bedroom to discover not only the two women but a third female. It turns out she had been in the room all day. She wasn’t even the cousins pregnant girlfriend, just his ‘friend’.

I left before Mr P got back..

Lesson learnt: Let’s keep it basic..there is always enough time to put your clothes back on!

Curly Shoulders Art


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